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Aug 9, 2004

I bought a couple of CDs, because finally I've actually seen some money from one of my paychecks. I'm only going to get one more before I have to move back to Athens, but at least I have a little petty cash. I got the Muse CD and the live Radiohead CD, and I'm going to trade Caroline Muse for Franz Ferdinand.

Here are the five things I hate most about my job:

5. Having to act nice to Brandon Perlman when he comes to the drive-through.
4. Carpal tunnel from that obscene scooping angle.
3. The nasty frozen egg patties we put on the breakfast sandwiches. (Yes, they're worse than carpal tunnel.)
2. Being treated like an autistic five-year-old deaf-mute by Jean, the annoying corporate standards lady; particularly since it's clear I have more brains in my head than she has cellulite in her ass.
1. Putting disgustingly huge amounts of cream cheese on bagels. This is a pet peeve and I will never get over it. You people disgust me.

We had a huge surplus of donuts today. If any of you who said you'd visit actually had, I'd have gladly handed over a couple dozen on the house. As it was, I just got boxes for my girlfriend, my dad, and his girlfriend. I enjoyed carrying them home immensely, because when I took a shortcut on the greenway I got to grin at all the health-conscious exercisers over a huge pile of Dunkin Donuts boxes.

Yes, I am the Devil. Don't they smell good?

Obnoxious Customers of the Week:
Vapid Fad Dieters One and Two: A couple, dressed in workout gear, who showed up and asked if we had any low-carb foods. I stared at them in disbelief for a second. Then I glanced over my shoulder at the racks and racks of donuts behind me. Then I looked over at the display cases packed end-to-end with tubs of delicious sugary ice cream. Then I stared at Vapid Fad Dieters One and Two in disbelief a little more. Then I answered, "No."

Postscript: Today I also met Vapid Fad Dieter Part Three: The Coffee Question, who asked me if we brewed low-carb coffee. Despite the fact that I could easily have given him what those of us in the biz call a "Medium Cream-Only," I was so appalled by his stupidity that I told him smugly that we didn't. And then I turned sideways and stretched my arms out behind me so he could get a good look at my perfectly flat stomach.

Postpostscript: I should also mention the obnoxious potential employee of the week, who came in and took an application and then asked "¿Ingles necessito?"
... ... ... ... ...
...Of course ingles necessito, you fucktard! We have this thing called a "store," and there are people we anglophones call "customers," and the "employees" of this "store" have to be able to communicate with them, now don't they?

I went to LA for a few days, bought a couple of shirts. I really missed my cat. Every female in my family is completely insane, with the possible exception of my sister. That is all I have to say on the subject.

I have to go. Caroline is waiting for me.

Nick ::: 4:35 PM ::: 0 comments

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