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Nov 20, 2005

There's never enough language to say the things you want desperately to say.

This tiny kernel of self-loathing is flowering outward into disgust. Ideas hatched in the heady days of adolescence now seem impossibly complicated. I used to understand the widespread equivalence of discontent, but now I hear the moaning of the privileged and hear nothing but the self-indulgent squealing of overfed swine.

I was once my own harshest critic by virtue of stringent self-evaluation. Now I maintain the title by suffering no criticism or questions. I refute complaints with factual and logical contraptions designed to obviate their fundamental truth. I have become a fool and I don't know how to escape it. I am a liar, a cheat, and a hack, and if I let myself believe that I will never be anything else.

"We need to tone it down a bit. I won't cry but that doesn't mean I don't feel it."
"You'd like to justify your views, which are anything but true."
"that's not funny."
Nick ::: 6:13 PM ::: 2 comments

2 Comments:

what in the flying name of god have you been smoking

By  Anonymous, at 12:11 PM  

I'm low on life.

By  Nick, at 10:31 PM  

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