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Sep 21, 2002

OK, as promised, here is my stance on that huge debate which happens to be centered on a fucking sticker.

First, let me outline the situation, for those of you who are making it abundantly clear you have no idea what is going on. Cobb County has a rule that says Biology textbooks have to carry a sticker which says "Evolution is a theory and should be evaluated critically." The Holy Order of Evolutionists has decided that questioning the Holy Doctrine as Prophesied by Our Lord and Savior Charles Darwin is heresy and should be stamped out immediately. They are suing the school system for "teaching creationism" in science classrooms.

First of all, Cobb County is not teaching creationism. They aren't giving it equal weight; they aren't proposing that it is equally valid, they aren't even mentioning it. They're being sued over a sticker which mentions that the theory of evolution is called that for a reason. I'd like to state that that sticker is a marvel of modern political engineering. It's a sticker designed to please people whose beliefs are predicated entirely on belief and faith, and yet it is nonetheless the very essence of science.

But doesn't it question science? Of course it does! Questioning science is what science is all about. Science evolves through a long process of constant inquisitiveness. Evolutionary theory is not the same as when Darwin first proposed it, because a lot of the things he said have been found to be inaccurate by scientists questioning his theories. The scientific community cannot afford to assume that anything is guaranteed true. We still have the "theory of gravity," don't we? Where would we be if scientists had simply held faith that the atom was, in fact, indivisible, or that all the planets and the sun revolved around the Earth? Every great scientific discovery in the history of mankind has flown in the face of what humans and scientists generally assumed to be fact.

Some people say that we should put more stupid stickers on the book, telling students to evaluate every damn crackpot theory just as critically. But wait a second! Biology is a science, so the book is a science book. Evolution is the scientific theory for the origin of species. The entire book is, essentially, an explanation of evolutionary theory. That is as it should be; in science classes, we study science. But ask yourself, is a student of science more likely to mistakenly assume that evolution is fact, or creationism? The answer is obvious; with an entire book dedicated to explaining a theory, it's easy for the unwary to assume that the theory is correct. So there is even a good scientific reason for putting such a warning on the front.

What is most irritating is that it is the supposedly scientific evolutionists who are so bloody keen on eliminating all who deviate from the True Path. Not long ago, you were the guys who had to fight to keep your minority beliefs from being barred from the classroom! Scopes trial ring a bell, anyone? Blind-faith creationists were so incensed by the suggestion that they could be wrong that they decided to fire anyone who disagreed with them. Now the tables have turned, and blind-faith evolutionists are suing over even a mention of a differing viewpoint. Aren't scientists supposed to be open to other ideas? Aren't you supposed to be the ones who "critically evaluate" all viewpoints, and then select the one you feel is the most valid? Isn't it inherenty contradictory to try to silence dissent in the name of science?

I don't even understand why evolutionists feel so threatened by a little sticker. Do you honestly think that it's going to change anyone's mind? The sort of person who would read that sticker and decide not to even consider evolutionary theory is the sort of person who wouldn't have considered it anyway. I've never met that sort of person; most of the Creationists I know try to incorporate evolution into their beliefs through the clockmaker model and the metaphorical-day argument. It does not speak well of evolutionists if they are less open to other ideas than those they decry as "fanatics."

I hope I haven't missed anything. Bethany, you've heard most of this before; did I skip over any of it?
Nick ::: 11:28 PM ::: 0 comments

Sep 20, 2002

There is a hugeass spider on my front door. He's constructed an awesome web over the upper half of it, too. Great Halloween decoration, and it keeps the bugs away, too.

The only problem is having to duck every time I enter or exit the apartment.
Nick ::: 4:24 PM ::: 0 comments

Sep 19, 2002

Everyone I've talked to online today said I needed to post something on my blog. Fortunately, as I was reading the instructions for the Uncle Ben's Parmesan Shrimp Penne Pasta Bowl that will be my dinner tonight, I found inspiration.

In the middle of step 2 of the microwave directions, good old Uncle Ben decided to mention parenthetically that "steam is hot."

This got me thinking about all the people who are down on really obvious directions like "lather, rinse, and repeat." I'm not down on really obvious directions. I've had to use really obvious directions many, many times. This is because I tend to turn really simple tasks into laborious, complex affairs that confuse me to no end.

Anyway, I've decided that all of the world's really stupid directions should be put into a book (Really Obvious Shit for Dummies?) that would be issued to every single person in the world upon his or her entry into the hallowed halls of the literate. Inside would be not only directions on how to use shampoo, but how exactly to "lather." This is where you would put bits of wisdom like "steam is hot." There would be instructions on how to hold a pencil, how to tie your shoes, and which way to hold your deodorant. There, adolescents could find the answers to questions like "how do bra clasps work?" "how do I use a bidet?" "when is a bodypart hairy enough to use shampoo rather than soap?" and "how do I disguise an erection?" There could even be a section where the fashion-deaf, like me, could look up gaffes like brown shoes with a black belt.

Doesn't this sound like a good idea? It's like the Sex Talk, but for life.
Nick ::: 8:47 PM ::: 0 comments