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Feb 14, 2003

Shoutout to the Juniors!
Nick ::: 1:16 PM ::: 0 comments

Feb 13, 2003

Remember that blog earlier when I said that sometimes I felt like I was too much a product of my parents? Well, sometimes I feel like that. Other times I wonder if we're even related.

I can't see either of my parents laughing as hard as I did last night with Clarke and Ian. I can't conceive of being as rude to a waiter as my mom was on my birthday. I can't imagine being as haughty as my dad was about world events last night and then refusing to admit that I blatantly misdefined "dirty bomb." I can't imagine not even knowing about Code Orange and then accusing someone else of being ignorant of current events.

I'm not saying I hate my parents. I don't. I'm just asking you where I came from.

Am I a product of my friends? My friends changed so often over the course of my formative years that I don't even know where to start. Am I a product of my teachers? Which ones? Why? Am I a product of the media? Well, the media say that the media cause violence, and I've gotten less violent as I got older. Could the media be wrong? I'd like to say that I'm a product of myself, but modern science says this is not possible. Modern science is fucking depressing.

Do I buy everything I read?
I haven't even read everything I've bought.

Robert Anton Wilson says, fairly insightfully, that the problem with people is that we're always looking for some single cause in an infinite, holistic sea of quantum causality. But does this mean that we should resign ourselves to the whims of Schrödinger's Cat, or that we must continue the search in order to really be human?

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. says that all lives begin and end with a conjunction. I flatly disagree. All lives begin with a capital letter and end with a question mark.
Nick ::: 7:09 AM ::: 0 comments

Feb 12, 2003

Hey, I'm Nick's dad, hummahnah hummahnah, I think I know everything there is to know about modern warfare, and I can make a dirty bomb without any radioactive material, tra la la la la!
Nick ::: 11:35 PM ::: 0 comments

Feb 11, 2003

The Very Secret Diary of Mr. Jones

Day 1
Don't have much to say, just writing down evil cackling. Muahaha. Muahahahahaha. Hua-ha ha ha ha ha ha haa!

Day 2
Evil plot to take over world through use of weather-changing device progressing well. Twilight Zone set, on other hand, being problematic.

Day 3
Spoke to Poulos today. Hope ringing in ears will subside soon.

Day 4
Hit my thumb with a hammer today -- v. painful. Worried enhanced reflexes wearing off. Will go on Ebay and purchase some more super-serum.

Ears still ringing.

Day 5
Went to theatre to see new James Bond movie. Had argument with ignourant colonial about how to spell "theatre." Argued furthre about spelling of "ignourant." Let spelling of "furthre" slip, but gave v. condescending look.

Condescending look compromised by damned ringing.

Day 6
Am running out of long words to bother PreCal kids with. Already used antidisestablishmentarianism, disestablishmentarianism, antidisestablishmentarian, disestablishmentarian, and antidisestablishment. If pattern continues, may end up giving them "blish."

Ringing getting better, or am getting used to it.

Day 7
Sven making eyes at Mic. Sterling will kill him if he tries anything.

Day 8
Ringing gone, but Poulos wants to talk again. Bugger!

Day 9
Running low on secret Soviet super conditioner. May have to make a run to the hairdressing district of Moscow and steal some more. Wish American shampoo research as advanced, as Russian passport getting v. worn.

Day 10
Almost slipped into native Jersey accent right in front of Fahey. May have to kill him -- Glenn must not find out!

Day 11
Super-serum arrived! Hair grew six centimetres after first sip. Go me!

Day 12
Whirly bit on weather-control device broke. Had to improvise repair using three paper clips and the carabiner from my keychain. Now, if only I had some chewing gum...

Day 13
Became frustrated with Twilight Zone set, went on power tool rampage. Suspect super-serum causing moodiness. Adverts never give you the proper list of side effects. Had to use very-quick-speed to reconstruct the entire bloody set in a matter of minutes.
Nick ::: 1:07 PM ::: 0 comments