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Oct 11, 2002

I actually wrote a blog to accompany that last, but I've decided not to post it. It got a little weird and it totally doesn't fit my mood anymore.

I'm having fun. I got a lot of writing done last night, which is always a pleasure. I also finished Mona Lisa Overdrive and am thinking about reviving the Nathaniel Blair project. In the meantime, I'm searching for a new book to read and trying to finish Set in Stone. This paragraph shouldn't really make sense to any of you, but that's OK.

I didn't like today as a school day. What yuck. Stupid bombs. Stupid administration. Stupid rules.

I probably shouldn't be posting this here, but I really don't care. Supposedly my and Bethany's two month is coming up and I'm fucked if I know when it is, exactly. Actually, I'm fucked if I care, but from what I've heard, she does. I suppose it'd be nice to say "Happy Titchy Little Two-Month Anniversary" to her. She'd either get a kick out of it or be seriously offended by the suggestion that she's in a relationship.

I really enjoyed spending tonight with Sara B. and Amy and Laura. Tuck Everlasting was a total chick flick, but nothing beats an interesting hours-long conversation over a bottomless bowl of candy corn. I'm such a communicator; it's really what I love to do.
Nick ::: 11:39 PM ::: 0 comments

Oct 9, 2002

Today was miserable. I'm definitely on the rebound from my black-sweater high.

Fuck French. Fuck tapes. Fuck les écouteurs.
Fuck projects. Fuck the library. Fuck recommendations.
Fuck scheduling. Fuck transportation. Fuck pedestrianism, a social disease.
Fuck gasoline.
Fuck acting. Fuck working. Fuck wondering. Fuck thinking. Fuck the talented. Fuck the talentless.
Fuck you.
Fuck me.

I think I'll blog about today first, because it was miserable, and yesterday was happy, and I like ending on a positive note.

In first period Mr. Wade was doing SAT prep stuff, and I've already taken the SATs, I'm not even allowed to take them again. So I was writing a story on my PDA and Mr. Wade saw me and made me put it up. I felt really stupid and really mean, because it wasn't as though I didn't like his class and I didn't mean to ignore him and I didn't need to work on that story then.

In second period we were doing one of those damn picture-reading things that I suck so badly at. I always get the lowest rating in the class. So I decided to give up on a real, serious story, and turn the whole thing into some sort of farce, and it actually worked. I was so happy; I was more fluent than I'd been in ages. I was remembering vocab I didn't even know I'd known. And then I found out in front of the whole class that I'd been using the wrong damn headset and hadn't recorded a word of it, so once again I got the lowest rating...a dash. Not even a zero. A dash. And then Mme Cline took me out in the hall and bitched me out because I'm doing miserably in her class and I'm not studying and I didn't study tonight and I have a vocab quiz tomorrow and fuck.

Then in third we were doing a project, nothing too onerous, but I did get some reading done in The New Republic and while I found most of the articles insightful and interesting, the cover story on WMDs showed such an utter lack of understanding of the social strategic significance of non-fatal casualties that even an unusually politically apathetic high school senior was affronted.

In fourth there was nothing to do, and I'm in charge, and I should be leading by example but everything I've tried goes to shit and we still don't have our programs and I'm running out of ideas and relying totally on Blair to keep us going. I should just resign.

In fifth I felt like I sucked at acting. Daniel Glenn says I didn't, and Dan saying "You didn't suck" is pretty high praise, but I felt like I did and that was enough to make me miserable the whole time. I couldn't even summon up the conviction to properly slap Brian Meyer. All I wanted was for our damn scene to end so I could read more Mona Lisa Overdrive and drown myself in the darkly lyrical world of Cyberpunk.

Sixth was nasty even without Wolf. People tried to be social at me and it didn't work because I didn't care enough to even act as a halfway decent sounding board. Amber tried to be sympathetic (she'd seen me being bitched out by Cline) but I couldn't even summon up the conviction to be pitiful. Then Mrs. Edwards had to call me back up to the office because I'd forgotten to sign my fucking NMS form. What sort of fucking idiot forgets to sign his NMS form? Then we started talking about college and financial aid, and she mentioned a couple of scholarships by name but not NMS, because frankly what with being the sort of idiot who forgets to sign the NMS app and has a shit GPA I'm not really in the running at all.

So the talent show kicked ass and I loved the acts and the people I knew were awesome. There was some shit mixed in (the "I want to make love to you" guys were singing their duet in different fucking keys for the love of all that is holy!! What has the world come to!?) but I didn't dwell on it. I'm dwelling on it now. But that's OK. Maybe it's the gasoline fumes affecting my brain.

I was going to talk about yesterday but I'm saving it for later. Suffice to say I'll be wearing my black sweater to bed tonight, in the hope that Dream will be kinder than Destiny.

See you all tomorrow.
Nick ::: 11:29 PM ::: 0 comments

Oct 6, 2002

I watched The Tuxedo today. I had very low expectations for this movie, so I was pleasantly surprised. It doesn't take itself seriously at all, which can make up for a lot in my book. Yes, it's Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jackie Chan, but it knows that it is Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jackie Chan. JLH does what she's good at -- squeaking, showing cleavage -- while Jackie Chan is funny and has a couple of enjoyable fight scenes. The concept is laughable and the plot is silly, but it's an undemanding movie. It's the sort of film where you just sit back, chill out, and smile. It's what I would call a "summer flick": friendly, happy, and fun.

Heck, James Brown has a cameo. What more do I need to say?
Nick ::: 10:33 PM ::: 0 comments

I watched The Wall for the first time today. What a peculiar movie.

My favorite Beatles song has shifted from Lady Madonna to Cry Baby Cry.

My sister won't shut up about Pantera. I'm in a Linkin Park mood. I think my dad is just pissed.

This has been the Music Report. Thank you.
Nick ::: 10:25 PM ::: 0 comments

I've noticed something new about people this week.

I've known for some time that the weather affects people's moods. Earlier this week, we had a great example; it was raining and humid, and we were all mopey and tired. I'm not saying rain can't be enjoyable, but the way to enjoy rain is to relax, get comfortable, and do very little for a long time. You can't really do that at school, so people are just mopey and tired. Anyway, everyone was a bit grouchy, including me.

The new thing I've noticed is that people who prefer to be sad (I've known about them for quite a while, too) can extend the period of resentful grouchiness far beyond the period of inclement weather, while people who prefer to be happy get over it quickly. I'd expected that after the rain subsided, everyone would return to norm, but some have stayed far below their already low standard mood.

Just thought I'd share that.
Nick ::: 12:26 PM ::: 0 comments

Bush Seeks UN Support For "US Does Whatever It Wants" Plan
Nick ::: 12:03 AM ::: 0 comments