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Jan 16, 2003

STOMPE Update!
Rob D - Clubbed to Death is a nice industrial techno piece. It relaxes me. My sister would be scandalized.
Linkin Park - 1stp Klosr is from their remix CD, which is quite a commercialized blemish on the already pockmarked face of modern music. This song is very good, though. I have it on my MP3 player, and I use it to regain my focus when I find myself distracted.
Down By Law - No Equalizer makes me feel a lot better about how stupid I've been lately.
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Country Roads is, like No Equalizer, from the mix CD Mr. Wade gave me. It really hits at the feeling of wanting to return to a past which is lost. You can never go back, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to.
Nick ::: 11:05 PM ::: 0 comments

Sometimes I really wonder how much a product of my parents I am. Generally, I like to think that I've found my own way to develop, independent of most external influences. But today I really started to wonder just how objectivist I've been. (That's the one, right?) For instance, I've noticed that when an external authority starts to put the heat on, my instinctive reaction is to back off, get inconspicuous, and hide from what I need to do until it blows over. I've identified this as a survival method I used to deal with my mom, who can get in a real huff about minor situations, but has a terrible time keeping the pressure on for more than a week. When I was a kid, if I just stayed inconspicuous for a short time, she'd forget that she wanted anything of me. Another is that I have no faith at all in my ability to deal with an unknown situation, but that I hate and resent having to ask for help. I got that one from my dad, who can take your first efforts at just about anything and spend hours pointing out all the stupid mistakes you made and the million ways he could have done it better. This is also the reason none of you have read or listened to anything much of what I've written or composed, and why I've never brought a project like a movie script anywhere near fruition.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to bitch about my parents. We all know how overdone that is, especially in blogs. I hate boring you all with my stupid angst. But I thought that this was an interesting and frightening point to bring up. Much as I hate to sound like John Hughes, how much have my parents influenced me?

Now, I'm not going to take the Breakfast Club position and decide that everything bad that I do or experience can be blamed on my parents. Emilio, I hate to break it to you, but you taped that kid's buns together because you're an asshole, and you bring up your dad because you're whiny. Don't get me wrong, the movie is very funny and I'm honored to be a part of the school's production. I just think that one of the many points brought up could have been better thought-out. When I do something dumb, it's because I was being dumb and I have no right to point fingers at anyone else. I'm just wondering how many stupidities I developed in reaction to my parents, and how many I've been too stupid to discard. To some extent, I'm wondering if I still treat all authority figures as permutations of my mother and father. I wonder this because I think it’s important. Most authority figures in the world are not like my parents, and if I treat them that way I’m in for a rough time. I have to identify these lingering misconceptions and rid myself of them.

Nick ::: 10:26 PM ::: 0 comments

Jan 12, 2003

AP French students, heed my call! We must defeat Mme Cline at her own game. It's absolutely imperative that we don't ask each other difficult questions tomorrow. If we all do each other this slight favor, the world will be a better place.

I, for one, will be sitting at ready with my dictionnaire and a stack of papier...can you say "cue cards"?
Nick ::: 10:54 PM ::: 0 comments

Bad punk rock has turned my sister into a retarded parrot. The silver lining is that I've finally found something to blog about.

The band in question is Anti-flag. Needless to say I'm not a fan, although I'll pardon you if you are -- based on the fact that you don't feel compelled to blast it in my living room every time you see me. If you're going to be offended by slights on the band, just skip the next paragraph, which I've written for the benefit of those who haven't been treated to their stylings.

Where to start? The only drawing point I can think of for this music is the opinions expressed in it. I can't understand why this would interest anyone, though, because most of the band's statements are the geopolitical equivalent of "I have ten fingers! That's my opinion and I'll fight to the death to defend it!" Obviously factual statements without any development are to be avoided in AP essays and punk lyrics. I say that this is the factor that attracts listeners only because it certainly can't be the mind-numbingly dull riffs or the repetitive, atonal vocals.

Now, it doesn't bother me if someone listens to stupid music. I will never seek an argument over something that trivial and subjective. I only get vocal when I am being forced to listen to the same stupid music. Of course, with most people, asking politely to listen to something else is sufficient to solve the problem. Actually, I've found that most people are very courteous when they know you'll be hearing their music, and often ask your opinion before turning it on.

Not so my sister. We were playing Mario Kart with some of her Bad Religion in the background, and she got up to change it. I asked her not to, pleading that I liked the song, which I thought she would take as a compliment. Instead, her expression soured and she protested, "but I want to listen to Anti-Flag." I gave her a look which said, "We've been over this ground before," and believe me, we have. She knows that while our tastes overlap in a couple of areas, there is no love lost between me and the vast majority of music she listens to. Anti-Flag has already been the topic of a couple of discussions.

Now, most normal people would either back off or find some other music that wasn't actively offensive to a present party. The only excuse I can think of for her refusal to do so is that her newfound desire to be punky caused her to misidentify me as the Man. Probably she's been listening to too much reactionary anti-conformism and has become hypersensitive to "oppression," real or imaginary. It's conceivable that she actually contrived the entire situation just to have some injustice to fight.

Whatever the reasoning, it was damn stupid of her to think that six songs later I was going to be in a good mood regarding the band.

"See, this song has smart lyrics." Pause. "I told you they had smart lyrics. Are you listening to the lyrics?" Pause. "What do you think about the lyrics?" Pause. "Well? Are you going to answer me?"

[cue pained sigh]

"Jennifer, the entire focus of this song is that propaganda is used to incite a population to war. That's not exactly a revelation and it's silly to argue in favor of an obvious fact without developing the idea any further."

"You're so judgmental, Nick. You don't even know the lyrics yet, and you're passing judgment on the band."

"I don't have to know the lyrics. They're playing in my ear."

"You're not listening. They don't even use the word 'propaganda'."

"Damnit, Jenn, I suppose that 'controlling the media' and telling people that 'the enemy are ruthless murderers' have nothing to do with propaganda? Do you even know what 'dissemination' means?"

"You just want to hate all the bands I like. You're such a fag. You're trying to hate them just because I listen to them."

"Jennifer, I wanted to listen to Bad Religion, and you like them. I'd enjoy listening to the Offspring or Joan Jett or the Ramones or any of the other bands you've been playing all day. It's not my fault that you chose to play a band you know I don't like the moment I tried to hang out with you. And I told you not to call people that."

"Oh yeah? Well at least I don't listen to dumb repetitive techno."

"At least I play my music in my room with the door shut. And for your information, I haven't been listening to techno today, I've been listening to the CD you bought me for Christmas. It's also ironic that you call my music repetitive when you're listening to this guy."

[My imitation of the band's vocalist followed.]

"Stop that. It's annoying."

"I know. That's why I want you to turn it off."

"You think you're really clever and witty and smart, but you're not."

"Kind of like these guys."

"Oh, you're really funny, except not. Fag."

Most of that is direct quoting, although I skipped a lot of it for the sake of my readers. If I still have any.

I have nothing against the punk movement. Do your thing, have a ball, doesn't bother me. But why did they have to steal and brainwash my little sister? Occasionally she's still fun and interesting and I see glimpses of the sister I knew, but then she disappears between the sophomoric veneer of mishmash slang, safety pins, and unfocused resentment.

She's become such a freshman.
Nick ::: 8:14 PM ::: 0 comments